Custom Made Ice Cream

Daily Candy sent a link about a place to get custom made ice cream. Depending on choices, it gets expensive but maybe I will treat myself to green tea ice cream since I can't find it in any stores.

I picked up a couple of portobello "steak" and cheese sandwiches from Balducci's, took them to Michael's work, then had a late lunch with him. A couple of his co-workers stopped by to look at Ben.

I went to the art supply store to pick up more markers. I bought a set specified in Color Drawing: Design Drawing Skills and Techniques for Architects, Landscape Architects, and Interior Designers. According to the instructor, it is one of the best books on the subject. Maybe if I get good at rendering I can get some freelance work (fat chance). Class was interesting. I started work on a paraline drawing of a beach house. Of course, I'm not happy with my work. I never seem to be happy with my work. We listened to the presidential debate on the radio.

When I got home, Michael was sitting on the floor with Ben. It was close to his bedtime so he was kind of out of it.

Today I had another post natal followup. I am still not healed. The doctor applied more silver nitrate. I have to go back in another two weeks.

There is a barista at Starbucks who is new in town; she has a 7 month old. She has not found a pediatrician yet so I recommended the practice we use for Ben. We got into a conversation about breast feeding. She was last stationed in Mississippi. She says that breast feeding is uncommon there. No one does it. I thought the "breast is best" trend was prevalent throughout the country. I guess not.

I met the moms for lunch at Olive Garden. We got there a little late because I had to feed Ben before we left. There was a mom there who had a 2 week old. He was only 8 pounds and so tiny. Its only been a couple of weeks, but I forgot that Ben was that small; he is somewhere between 10 and 11 pounds now.

Michael was late getting home from work. He got into a long conversation with his boss about some issues at work. To make it up to me, he took me out to dinner.

Having a rough night

Tonight was Michael's class which means I had to take care of Ben from 3AM to 10PM with no one to help me. The day was good, we went to a play date and he took a couple of naps but the evening was rough. Just about the time I wanted to eat Ben started the "unhappy hour". I fed him and tried to put him down for the night. I ate as fast as I could because he wasn't going to sleep. He was in a cycle of crying then quiet. After I finished eating I fed him a little more, burped him, changed him, then put him in bed. He seems to be quiet. I read on Baby Center and What to Expect the First Year that this is about the time his sleeping patterns start to change but I don't know how I'm supposed to adjust to it. Our place is small, we don't have any space dedicated for Ben. If he's going to be up more, I don't know what to do with him.

I also think Postpartum depression is starting. I thought it was something that happened the first couple of weeks but I guess not. I'm going to have to talk to someone about it. Tomorrow, I will call the pediatrician for a recommendation.

The play date was nice. I arrived late because I had to feed Ben and stop at the grocery store to pick something up. I had not seen the group in awhile, either because of other engagements or I was not ready. They all commented on how big Ben has become. The home it was hosted at was very nice. It was farther out in the county on 5 acres of land. The house was surrounded by about .5 acres of cleared land with the rest being wooded. It as a nice layout. It was also a nice location, it only took 20 - 30 minutes to get there. The commute to where I work would probably be 40 minutes at most, with no traffic. I would like something like that some day.

Michael and I were up early to have breakfast with his parents. It was a nice breakfast although Michael was not feeling too well. His parents went to the home show yesterday and bought a few things for their new place.

Afterwards, I went to the Aga demonstration. It was good. Instead of her usual presentation, the rep focused on Italian food. Everything was tasty. I had to leave before desert because I wanted to get home to feed Ben. There was a family at the demo who were interested in an Aga 6-4. The 6-4 is nice and I considered it for a moment however, I want the 4 oven Aga cooker. I have wanted one for more than 7 years. In our next house, I hope to have the kitchen I've always wanted; since I would like to live there for 20 years, I think the investment is justified.

Ben has been fussy tonight. Usually he goes down easily at bedtime. As I was feeding him, he went to sleep. As soon as I put him down, he woke. Michael and I tried to let him cry a bit because sometimes he will cry and then fall asleep. Not this time. As Michael was holding him, he smiled. It's cute, but Mommy and Daddy would like some private time.

Michael had to go into work today to fix a bug. He took Ben with him. I had a couple of hours to myself. I went to the jewelry store to see if a particular David Yurman necklace was available. The woman I usually work with has to check with her buyer to see if she can get it in.

At the last minute, I decided I didn't want to travel with Ben into the city to have dinner with our friends. They agreed to have dinner somewhere closer (which was very nice of them). Ben slept through most of dinner. Michael woke him up towards the end so Annie could hold him. At the table beside was a woman who took lots of pictures of Ben, hopefully she will email them to us. She seemed to really like children, she told us she volunteered for the day care at her church. Ben was hungry, it had been about three hours since his last meal. Because I am shy, I don't breastfeed in public so I gave him a bottle. I see no problem with women breastfeeding in public, I just can't do it. I got my first "You should be breast feeding him" lecture. I know people mean well, but, maybe they should not make statements like that. They don't know whether or not there is a medical reason why I don't breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a personal choice; people should respect that. Honestly, I think my milk is drying up which upsets me but, at the same time, I'm relieved because...

1. I don't do it in public, it was tying me to the house.
2. I was always concerned if he was getting enough to eat, with a bottle I can verify how much food he receives.
3. Ever since I began I've had some sort of pain (the lanolin helps but doesn't eradicate it).
4. Everything from exercising to having a drink has to be timed right.
5. The company I work for does not have adequate facilities for pumping.
6. I gave Ben 7 weeks, he may get 8, which I feel good about.

A woman is neither a hateful mother nor a failure if she does not breastfeed.

Tomorrow is the Aga demonstration and we are meeting Michael's parents for breakfast.

I spent most of the day at home. I went out once to get a cappucino and another time to purchase some magazines to get some ideas for the beach house. I went to Michael's to buy more Prismacolor markers and another art box -- my current one is too small. Michael's doesn't have much of a selection when it comes to markers. I probably want to wait until I come up with a color scheme for the project.

I gave Ben another 15 minutes in the Baby Bjorn carrier. He slept for about 5 minutes and was awake but quiet the other 10. I think he doesn't know what to make of it. If I walk with him Saturday and Sunday I think I will take him to the mall on Monday or Tuesday.

Michael and I went to Chipotle for dinner.

Got an estimate

I went to a body shop to get an estimate to repair my car. Its not too bad. I was told that they will not know for sure the extent of the damage until they get the bumper off so this was a preliminary estimate. I called the guy who hit me to tell him the estimate but, I ended speaking to his mother instead (it's her policy). She will decide if they want to go through insurance or pay out of their pocket.

Class was interesting. I handed in the bathroom rendering. I gave him the line drawing. I was not happy with the coloring and did not want to turn it in. The way he grades is I get credit for turning it in on time and can re-work it as many times as I want until the end of the semester to bring the grade up. For our next project, we are going to do a beach house. I think I will do something with a South/Miami Beach color scheme.

I got into a conversation with Mary Ellen and another woman in class about buying a house in the county. Mary Ellen moved further out because they couldn't afford single family homes closer to the city. I told her if she knew of anything in her neighborhood going on the market to let me know. She has a really good community, she and her neighbors interact with each other, which is something I am looking for. I would like a community with families that are starting out, that way Ben will have other children with who he can grow up.

Great News

After 5 years at his present company, Michael received a promotion to a managerial position. When we met for lunch this afternoon, the announcement had not been made. Michael was somewhat nervous about the team's reaction. But, they took it very well. I know he will do a good job. I think he will bring structure and a more rigid process to the software engineering team he is leading. Tonight, we went out to dinner. I had a Cosmopolitan, the first mixed drink I have had in over 10 months.

I walked Ben around the neighborhood in the Baby Bjorn carrier. He fell asleep while we were walking. If I can get him out a couple more times by the end of the week, I may go to the mall with him next week.

I gave him a bath tonight. I tried to get a couple of pictures of him after the bath, when his hair is curly, to send to my brother. He looks like my brother when his hair is curly, and like Michael when it is dry. I also tried to get some pictures of him smiling while Michael played with him. I don't know if they will turn out, the room was kind of dark and I couldn't get a good focus on him.

I am fed up...

People are just inconsiderate. Noone considers that it takes a minimum of 6 weeks to recover from having a baby, and that after 40 weeks of pregnancy my body and hormones are shot.

Being a mom is difficult. Not only am I constantly worried if I am doing the right thing for my baby, I have to listen to constant criticism of my suitability as a mother. Others think it is their right to make comments about my decisions regarding Ben. No one would ever say to Michael its best for him to stay home. But, if I decide I still want to pursue a career outside the home and want to keep a personality and desires separate from my husband and baby, then I am a selfish and don't love my baby.

While pregnant strangers would ask me if I was going to have an unmedicated birth and if I planned to breast feed.

6-week Checkup

I had the 6-week checkup today. I am not healed completely. I was, however, cleared for strenuous exercise. The doctor applied silver nitrate to accelerate the healing. Tomorrow I want to start walking on the treadmill.

I spoke to my dad earlier. I told him all the latest news about Michael, Ben, and myself. He may come down soon; because of work, he could not stay the week of Ben's birth, it would be nice if he could spend some time with him.

Where I thought Ben's routine was stretching to 2.5 to 3 hours, I now think he was conserving energy for a growth spurt. Starting this morning, he has been doing the hungry cry every hour. After one of Ben's feedings, I used the hour window to go to Memories to buy supplies for his album. Chatterbox made the only acceptable light green album, all the other vendors had the standard light blue or pink albums (can anyone show some imagination).

Lunch at Chipotle

Michael and I went to Chipotle for lunch, since he has class tonight it would be his only chance to see Ben awake during the day.

Because I had trouble waking Ben for his late afternoon meal, I was not able to take him to the park. Instead, I walked him around the neighborhood. I think Ben is starting a 2.5 hour routine. He sleeps alot longer between but eats more at feedings. Now his routine is eat, play, tummy time -- though sometimes he will fall asleep or suck his thumb during tummy time -- sleep.

I missed the Aga demonstration. I thought it began at 12:30 but it began at 12:00. I signed up for one next week, hopefully I will make it. One day, possibly in our next home, I hope to have an Aga.

I joined Michael at his parents. He and Ben went over there to watch the football game. While he and his dad watched the game, his mother and I surfed the web. We went through the design styles on the Home and Garden Television website and critiqued what we liked and disliked about each style.

Ben's Zayde made funny faces at him, and he smiled a long time. Unfortunately, he stopped smiling by the time we got our cameras out.

Not much happened today.

Michael and I spent the day playing with Ben and clearing off TiVo. Michael was able to get a picture of Ben smiling. He sent it to our mothers. Ben smiled alot today, I love his smile.

I went to Sutton Place Gourmet/Balducci's and picked up a couple of Portabello "Steak" and Cheese sandwiches; they neglected to put the sauteed onions on them (that really makes the sandwich).

Last night I ordered some marker technique books.

I had lunch with Mark today. We discussed parenthood, marriage, life goals, and politics. Mark has decided to go back to school and get a Masters and possibly a Doctorate in political science. He regrets that he treated college as a means to be employable upon graduation instead of an opportunity to explore what he really wanted to do in life. Not that he had a bad major -- his degree is in Computer Science -- it's just that 20 years later, he realizes that he doesn't really enjoy coding. Especially since the late nineties when the "bar kept moving". I feel somewhat the same way. I've been in IT for about 10 years now, and everywhere I go it is all the same. The innovations in RDBMS technology does not really matter, companies never use them. I know alot of interesting stuff but it does not get used. All companies care about is getting it up fast and cheap, and having someone to blame when things go wrong. Usually, that blame is placed on the poorly designed database that they will not allow me to normalize. I sometimes wonder if this is what I want to do ten years from now. I'm good at what I do. I would like the chance to model and implement a database "by the book" once. There is only one time I came close to doing that.

There was a tornado warning this evening. Michael's mom called to see how we were doing. Michael stayed at work until the warning expired at 7PM. There were a couple of tornadoes that touched down not too far from us. All I saw was some heavy rain, other than that nothing.

Michael and I cleared some shows off of TiVo. We still have a lot to watch. Most of the stuff on TiVo is marked to be deleted right after it is recorded.

I had two vegetarian mishaps today...

1. Michael and I went to Balducci's for lunch. We both ordered the Portabello "steak" and cheese sandwich. The person who fixed our sandwiches placed steak on them. He didn't realize that the steak being enclosed in quotes meant there was not any actual steak on the sandwich.
2. For dinner, I grabbed some soup at the school deli. I asked if the vegetable soup was vegetarian. Some people may laugh or sneer at this (as did the cashier) but, many times restaurants will use chicken, beef, or veal stock in soups that do not contain chunks of meat. It is a valid question.

I do not consider myself a hardcore, in your face, meat is murder vegetarian. I just don't want any lip or misunderstanding when I place an order.

I was also involved in a minor accident. While leaving a parking lot, after having lunch with Michael, someone rear ended me. Now, I have to make an appointment at a body shop to have the damage repaired.

Class was uneventful today. I finished the ink of the bathroom. We began to color it in. Mine looks awful. Next week, the teacher is going to bring in books on marker techniques. This, I hope, will help me improve this rendering.

Working on My Perspective

I spent most of the day trying to finish the 1-point perspective bathroom during Ben's naps. Most of the draft is finished. Tomorrow, I hope to have the ink completed before class.

Michael and I had lunch at Bagel Cafe. We had to hurry because he was scheduled to interview someone right after lunch. I saw his new office. It is nice; he has a window now. My next job, I want an office. I had one in my previous job. It's nice having a door to close.

Michael had class tonight, so he didn't get home until Ben was in bed. At least I have class tomorrow so he can spend some quality time with him. I wish both of us had more flexible schedules that way we could spend more time with him.

Lunch with a Friend

Today, I met Jennifer at Legal's for a light lunch. We had not seen each other since before I was pregnant. We talked about many things -- motherhood, relationships, work. She made a lateral move and is happy in her new position. She saw Ben and told me how cute she thought he is (as any good friend would). We went to a couple of stores. I really couldn't do that much walking; I didn't plan ahead so I did not have the Baby Bjorn but the car seat carrier, which gets rather heavy after some time.

I had dinner with Michael's parents. We decided on Thai food. At first, Michael was not going to join us because he had to finish up some things at work in preparation for a cold freeze tomorrow morning. But, it worked out that he was leaving just as we were about to order, so I ordered some vegetable fried rice for him; he made it to the restaurant shortly after they brought out our entrees.

Musings from the Park

We finished the pencil of the 1-point perspective bathroom. I have decided to do a Japanese inspired bath. Because I am making so many changes, I have a lot of work to do at home. I should get rid of the commode; the Japanese consider the bath sacred -- there is a ritual for taking a bath -- the commode is usually kept in a separate room. After this is finished, the only thing left of the original sketch will be the room dimensions and placement of elements.

I had lunch with Michael today.

I walked to the park in the late afternoon. We have not been able to go to the park for the past week because of the weather. I am happy today was a beautiful day. Ben kept his eyes open for a portion of the walk. He looked at me and the toys hanging from his carrier handle. Eventually he went to sleep. He had some good naps today. Sometimes he likes swaddling -- when he is tired and can't settle himself down; other times, he cries until the swaddling comes off. Ben is sleeping in his stroller. I cannot believe how much I love him. I prided myself on being a cold, hard, emotionless, unsentimental woman. He changes everything.

Michael is going to compete in the Top Coder 2004 Tournament tomorrow between 11:30 AM and 1:30 PM in . He doesn't think he is going to progress to the next round. I think he will. Honestly, I feel there are very few coders out there better than Michael. The one advantage the other contestants in the Tournament may have over him is, probably, many of them are not married and do not have children.

We are also having dinner at Dolce Vita with the Gordons tomorrow. We have not seen them since our trip to New York to see Jumpers. When both Chris and Faisal joined the Cult of Michael and bought copies of the play.

All I Want is a Little Service

Today I took my car to the dealer for a second time to get the door seal fixed. The first time they didn't order the part, so they special ordered it and once it came in I could make another appointment. Today, I find out they ordered the wrong color and now have to order another one. I'm hoping the third time is a charm.

Ben was very good today. We had lots of playtime on his mat and a couple of tummy time sessions.

Michael qualified for the first round of the Top Coder Tournament. This Saturday is the first round. I think he's going to do well, but he's concerned that he may not due to his lack of sleep.

Ben is 1 month old

Today I got together with the other Moms from the support group for a play date. By play, I mean we stuff ourselves on potluck dishes while our babies lie on their blankets as we talk about the many facets of baby poop. It was fun.

Because Michael had class tonight, I decided to go out to dinner by myself. Here's a new mom tip: Pay for your meal as soon as you order, you never know when your bundle of joy is going to wake up and start screaming at the top of his (or her) lungs.

When Michael got home, he wanted to qualify for the upcoming Top Coder competition. He did that while I fed Ben and got him to bed. I love watching him sleep, he looks so precious and tiny. I think of the life he might lead and hope he will be happy. I get overwhelmed with how much I love him.

Labor Day 2004

It was cool, rainy, and overcast today. We did not get out much. Ben was really fussy this morning so I took him for a ride to Starbucks while Michael slept. When Michael got up, I went to Whole Foods Market to get lunch for us. I'm hoping as we establish a routine with Ben, I can get back to cooking instead of eating out most of the time.

I was tired this afternoon, Michael played with Ben while I took nap for about an hour.

Ben is getting stronger and bigger. He was able to hold his head up a couple of seconds during his tummy exercises. We may have to use the bigger diapers soon. He barely fits in the newborns. I think I may have seen his first smile today. I was playing with him -- he has colorful, textural rings which I shake in front of him -- and a couple of times it looked as though he smiled. I know at this stage it could be gas, but I had not recently fed him and his gas fussiness was not present. Ben also had a bath tonight, he didn't cry or scream like the other times.

Tomorrow should be a busy day for me. I have a play date, there are some supplies I need to get for class, and I need to straighten out why Loudoun County sent me two bills for my car.

A Lazy Sunday

This morning Michael and I met his parents for breakfast at Bagel Cafe. It was a nice day so we decided to eat outside.

Ben was more alert than ever. He had a couple of crying spells but other than that he was fine. He fell asleep eventually. He is becoming more interactive each day. I bought him several toys this week. Mainly they are brightly colored things that catch his attention. When he starts to reach and grab they will also engage his tactile sense.

After feeding him this afternoon he was fussy. So I put him in his carrier and gave him a pacifier. That put him to sleep. I took a little nap afterwards. When I woke up, I fed Ben again then, since it was such a nice day, took him outside for a walk. We did not go anywhere in particular, I just walked him around the neighborhood.

Michael and I went to Chipotle for dinner.