Michael had to go into work today to fix a bug. He took Ben with him. I had a couple of hours to myself. I went to the jewelry store to see if a particular David Yurman necklace was available. The woman I usually work with has to check with her buyer to see if she can get it in.

At the last minute, I decided I didn't want to travel with Ben into the city to have dinner with our friends. They agreed to have dinner somewhere closer (which was very nice of them). Ben slept through most of dinner. Michael woke him up towards the end so Annie could hold him. At the table beside was a woman who took lots of pictures of Ben, hopefully she will email them to us. She seemed to really like children, she told us she volunteered for the day care at her church. Ben was hungry, it had been about three hours since his last meal. Because I am shy, I don't breastfeed in public so I gave him a bottle. I see no problem with women breastfeeding in public, I just can't do it. I got my first "You should be breast feeding him" lecture. I know people mean well, but, maybe they should not make statements like that. They don't know whether or not there is a medical reason why I don't breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a personal choice; people should respect that. Honestly, I think my milk is drying up which upsets me but, at the same time, I'm relieved because...

1. I don't do it in public, it was tying me to the house.
2. I was always concerned if he was getting enough to eat, with a bottle I can verify how much food he receives.
3. Ever since I began I've had some sort of pain (the lanolin helps but doesn't eradicate it).
4. Everything from exercising to having a drink has to be timed right.
5. The company I work for does not have adequate facilities for pumping.
6. I gave Ben 7 weeks, he may get 8, which I feel good about.

A woman is neither a hateful mother nor a failure if she does not breastfeed.

Tomorrow is the Aga demonstration and we are meeting Michael's parents for breakfast.