First day back to work

Today was my first day back to work after 10 1/2 weeks. While I was out, my manager completed my performance appraisal. I did fairly well. I have goals of things I would like to implement in the next year. I think our new DBA hire is going to be able to help me implement my policies. We have a similar philosophy in that both of us think data/server security is one of the most important aspects of an implementation.

Today was Ben's first day of day care. I called the day care once to check up on him. As far as I can tell, he did fine. My concern is not knowing whether or not he received any exercise ("tummy time") and if they played with him (I like to sing and recite nursery rhymes to him). Instead of going to class tonight, I went out to dinner with Michael and we had a discussion about me staying home. There are pros and cons. I see the biggest cons as losing my income, I would no longer contribute to a 401(k) which impacts our retirement, and I would become financially dependent on Michael. The pros are Ben will have someone working with him as he develops and I can take more classes. We decided to hold off making any final decisions until early next year.

I took Ben to the mall today. It was the first time I used the Baby Bjorn carrier. He lasted for about 30 minutes before he got fussy and that could be because he was tired. I took him to my favorite jewelry store so he could meet Kitty. Then to a department store so I could get some hose. I was only able to get a couple pairs because he started to cry, which should hold me for Thursday and Friday.

Afterwards, I stopped by the day care to get a list of what I would need to bring on his first day. This was the first time I've been there and the older children weren't having a nap. But, they are still propping the inner door open which isn't very good.

I have mixed feelings about going back to work. I want to go back because I want to speak to adults again. I like the mom's group but I feel like I'm in soccer mom/suburbia hell when I'm around them too long. But, after speaking to one of the providers today, I realized they see taking care of the infants as just doing a job. Next year, I will re-evaluate the options concerning Ben.

Busy Weekend

Michael and I had a busy weekend. We saw my parents both Saturday and Sunday as well as having dinner with his parents Saturday.

We got some great footage of Ben with my parents. We reviewed the video taken of Ben when he was one week old and can't remember how little he was. He's only 11 pounds now but he was tiny back then. I'm glad we have the tape.

I also got two rolls of film developed at Walmart. The only reason I go there is because they use Fuji paper otherwise, I hate the local Walmart. It's crowded and dirty and the employees are surly.

Because I had Ben out so much during the weekend I tried to stay close to home today. He spent a lot of time in his carrier. I went out briefly to the sports shop to get a gym bag. My current one is way to cumbersome. Now that I'm no longer pregnant and the gym is 2 minutes from where I work, I am determined to work out at least 3 times a week.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for both of us. I have a few errands to run to prepare for going back to work on Thursday.

My parents are visiting

My parents are in town to attend the wedding of a friend of my mother's. They arrived this morning at 3:00 AM. We got together for lunch this afternoon. It was the first time my parents have seen Ben since he was born. My mother monopolized him, which is what grandmothers do. She let my dad touch him and hold him towards the end of lunch. Aside: is there a rule in the "Grandmothers' Handbook" that states the grandchild must be guarded against the cold at all times. I put Ben's carrier in the chair beside my mom. She talked to, rocked, and fed him. Michael and I are going to meet them for brunch tomorrow morning before they leave.


After lunch, I dropped Ben off at Michael's office. He kept Ben busy while I got some things done around the house. I finished going through all my clothes and throwing away stuff I know I am never going to wear again. This is the first step of many to prepare the house for sale in the early Spring of next year.

Then we met Michael's parents for dinner. Ben cried a little but slept during the main course and dessert.

I asked our parents to write letters to Ben. Something he can read when he is a teenager or older so he can know his grandparents. Michael's father wants guidance on what he should put in his letter to Ben. I was considering giving him some topics but Michael wants him to come up with something from his heart. My mom says if she starts this letter it will "be a book" (drama queen). I started a letter and put one of my most painful memories into it. It was hard but I think it is something about me he should know.

This morning I decided to go to the grocery store after feeding Ben. On the way there, a car behind me was following fairly close, so I pulled over so the driver could pass. The driver went by very fast, and the car behind him sped by also. I resumed driving to discover the second car was an unmarked cruiser who pulled the first driver over. The county is getting very good at disguising cruisers, not only was the car unmarked, but the officer was not wearing a standard uniform, he looked like a businessman. I almost felt sorry for the guy, I'm sure that was a suck way to start the day.

I had lunch with Michael. I got a couple of portobello sandwiches and took them to his job. My eating plan was completely blown today. I'm not going to weigh myself tomorrow morning. I completely overate. I had pizza for dinner.

I'm looking at sign language videos at Signing Time. One of the other moms suggested it.

It was bound to happen...

I locked myself and Ben out of the house. I was rushing to feed him so I could get to the gym and get in a workout. I had everything with me except my keys. I called Michael from my cell. He had to leave work to let me into the house.

I did go to the gym. Afterwards, I met Michael at work to feed Ben and have dinner. He had to go back to work after dinner. Thankfully, it was late. Ben went to bed easily. I fed him a little more, rocked him a bit and put him down. He fussed for about 2 minutes, then he was quiet.

I took Ben's paperwork over to the daycare center. Then I ate a quick lunch at a Thai restaurant. I was in a hurry to get to a doctor's appointment. When I arrived for the appointment, I was informed the doctor was in surgery and had to re-schedule for next week.

10 days to go

I did not go to the gym today, therefore I did not do the abdominal work. I did walk on the treadmill this evening after Michael exercised.

I didn't do much today. I took Ben for a walk around the neighborhood this afternoon. He was awake for half of it. Its a nice neighborhood except our portion doesn't have well connected sidewalks. I have to walk down the side of the street to get to the sidewalk that leads to the park, elementary school, etc..

Ben has been oscillating between happy and fussy. He was laughing and smiling as Michael played peek-a-boo with him and as we sang to him. He doesn't like to be put down in his crib. We just have to let him cry for a bit before he goes to sleep.

Tomorrow, I have a busy day. I have a doctor's appointment, gym session, and I have to take the vaccination paperwork to the daycare.

Today was the first day I lifted weights in about a year. My left arm will probably be no good tomorrow. I was going strong until I did the overhead tricep extensions. I had a very good workout. I walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes, then I did 30 minutes of weights.

When I got home, I rushed to feed Ben and get dressed for dinner with Michael's parents. We had a good time. Ben slept through most of dinner. He didn't start to cry until about 7:45 and then it was because he was hungry. We had to rush home so I could feed him and so Michael could catch the game.

We have been feeding him off and on for the past two hours. Every time we put him down in his crib he would cry. His temperature is okay. He seems fed. We changed his diaper. I think he may be crying because he is tired (isn't that odd) or he may still hurt from the inoculations. We are letting him cry for 10 minutes before getting him.

This will be my last full week at home. Next Thursday I go back to work. I'm looking forward to it at the same time I don't want to go back. I'm sure Ben will be fine and I will be fine. I would like to start a consulting company, that way I could set my hours and control when I would need to be at a customer site. Something to think about for 2006.

Dinner Out

I picked up my clothes from the cleaners this morning. I think it is complete BS that I'm charged more money to get my shirts laundered because the buttons are on the left so they can't put it in the machine to press it. This will probably be the last time I use that cleaner. From now on I'm taking my clothes to either the $1.75 place or one of the local chains that does not price gouge for women's clothing. I hope this place goes out of business.

Michael and I had a late breakfast. He was not feeling well because Ben was fussy most of the night and the Indian food didn't agree with him. He was going to watch Ben while I tried to get some cleaning done but, he had to lie down instead. I got some things sorted out but not as much as I wanted. I was ruthless, I threw away anything that didn't fit or was out of style. Some stuff I hadn't looked at since the first year Michael and I dated. It was good to get rid of it. There are a lot more things I am going to have to sort through and throw away to get the house ready for sale.

We went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants. It's great but it takes about forty-five minutes to get there. We don't go very often. The last time we went was before Ben was born. Dinner was very good.

Immunization

Today, Ben had his 2-month check-up. He's a little small but the doctor feels his progress is fine. He also received the 2-month immunization shots; the nurse gave him 4. He cried while she gave them to him. What's hard is he probably did not understand why it was happening. Afterwards he slept a lot, I had to wake him and force him to eat. Then at around 6 he woke up but cried more of a painful cry than a hungry cry. I think it was a combination of a slight fever and some soreness from the shots. Michael came home early. He held Ben while I went out to get Tylenol and a thermometer. He needed a lot of holding tonight. He would sleep in our arms or Michael's lap but when put in his crib or bassinet he would wake up and cry.

Our night was spent eating take-out Indian, watching the debates, and looking at Ben.

Sunday, Michael and I went out without Ben for the first time. It was nice. We went to a play. Although neither of us were impressed with the play, it was still good to get out by ourselves.

This week I cooked dinner for the first time in over 8 weeks. Nothing fancy.

Class was tonight. We are doing a paraline drawing. Its interesting but there are many details that need attention. I am almost finished with the ink. I should be ready to color it next week.

When I returned home, Michael was sitting on the couch with Ben. He was tired and hungry so I fed him and put him in his crib. Today is his 2-month. He has almost outgrown the 0-3 month clothes. I'm a little sad about it. I feel about the same way when he got too big for newborn diapers. Tomorrow is his 2-month check-up at the pediatricians. I hope his weight gain is progressing as necessary.

Today started early for Michael and I. We had to get to the bank to clear up a couple of things. Nothing major just a little misunderstanding on our part.

Afterwards, I went to get my hair done while Michael met his parents for lunch. My stylist is doing great. She is in a good relationship; she and her boyfriend are thinking about getting married. And, she is about to make a career move.

My jeweler called, the David Yurman necklace I wanted came in and she was holding it for me. At first I was going to wait until she got back from vacation to pick it up but, since Ben was taking a nap and Michael had nothing to do, I left to pick it up.

I missed Ben while I was out. When I got home, he smiled a lot. I think he even laughs sometimes. He's getting better with his hands. His actions appear more purposeful and controlled. He has stopped hitting himself. His schedule is also changing, sometimes he will go 2.5 to 3 hours between meals plus he is sleeping more at night.

Tomorrow, Michael and I are going to a play. His parents are going to watch Ben. This will be the first time we leave Ben with someone.